What Do You Tell the Kids?

Recently many people have been laid off from their job, and the devastation for some is tremendous, especially for those who never saw it coming.  A lot of us have grown up with college in mind, then off to the dream job which will carry them into retirement.  But the job market in recent years has changed, and now it’s not uncommon for people to change jobs every two years or so.

Then there is the family who relies on your paycheck.  One day you go to work and find out that your job is no longer there, and you are not needed.  The loss of a job ranks high on the stress list, but caring parents try to minimize the impact to their family and try to keep a stable life for their children when possible.  But what if your life changes so much that looking for work outside of your current area is the only option you have?  How should you handle telling your children that their lives may uprooted?

1.  Be honest. Honesty in this situation is best, but you should be tactful.  Uprooting the family and pulling them away from close friends and possible extended family will be something they will worry about.  Easing them into the possibility of moving is not going to be easy, but it will help the transition.  But with that will come more questions from them.

2. Explain things. Make sure you tell them that you have lost your job through no fault of your own, and things are going to change around the house.  You aren’t sure what at this point, but tell them you will keep them informed.  Of course, they’ll want to know more and why.  You don’t have to go deep, but keep it simple and to the point.

3.  Include them in decision making. Include them in simple things like deciding since you can only go out to eat once a week, do we go for pizza tonight or eat at home.

4.  Discuss money where applicable. In many families money is not discussed.  The only time I ever heard about money growing up was when we didn’t have any.  That may or may not be the best way, but if you are used to going out twice to eat on weekends, the children will need to know that you have to reduce your costs and they can play a part in helping to reduce overall costs to the household.

5.  Turn the negative into a positive. Make a game out of looking for cheap or free things to do.  Pick a movie on TV or the video store instead of going to the movies.  Have them cook a meal for you instead of going out.

Come up with something that works for you and your family.  There is more stress on the kids if they know something is wrong but don’t know what the cause is. Helping them work through the issues will make things easier for them.

Photograph Courtesy Flickr Photographer FreeParking